Day 33: No Pressure

Today marks the last day of vacation (kind of).  I don't really count Saturday and Sunday because we always get the weekend off.  I started getting sad around Wednesday afternoon.  I absolutely love being home with my kids.  Not just for being around them, but believe it or not, I love housework.  I love home-making, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and planning fun things to do with my children.  I feel like this is what my life should be like all the time.  One of the best things about this "vacation" though, has been the wonderful conversations I've had with other mothers.  Yes, Abby had 3 playdates in a row (and then took a 2 hour nap today from which I actually had to wake her up!) but I had 3 very meaningful times of friendship, fellowship, and renewal this week.  After each, I had a renewed sense of self and felt refreshed in a unique way.  It's nice, and so important, to just converse with other real moms, in person.

THAT IS REAL.

THIS IS NOT REAL.

Sure, conversing and catching up can be done over email and social media, but it's not genuine.  Even this blog is fake, to an extent.  Oh, my recipes are very real.  The pictures I take of my food are real, but they're edited.  On facebook, we tend to only see highlights of people's lives (or in some cases, lowlights).  We "share" a million things and ideas that we want to do but probably never will--but other people think we are doing them.  The result?  A tremendous amount of pressure being felt by moms and other people all over to "keep up" or to do what that other mom/person is doing.  I peruse facebook (try to avoid pinterest) all the while thinking, "maybe I should do that, try this... like that other mom over there who seems to be such a better mother than I..."  Based on what?  A couple of facebook posts?  But that's how I feel.  And I'm guessing (hoping?) that I'm not alone.

You may wonder why I'm rambling on so much on what is supposed to be a recipe blog--NOT a journal of my random thoughts.  Well, trust me when I say, I don't want this to be a journal of my ramblings, I do want it to remain focused on food.  But I don't have a recipe tonight.  Tonight, everything went wrong.  I had intended to make a meal that will be saved for tomorrow night because in the middle of the day, we decided to go out tonight.  You see, we had an appointment to get our taxes done late this afternoon, and I thought it would just be easier to go out since Randy has to leave for work at 7:00--I didn't think I'd have enough time to make the meal I originally planned.  But we didn't even have enough time to go out.  And while I was getting upset about our night being ruined, I realized I was really upset that my post for tonight would be ruined.  Then I thought, "Why am I putting so much pressure on myself?"  After that I thought, "I really hope no one else feels pressured about their own dinners because of my blog!"  I want this blog to be as real as possible, and I certainly don't want to pressure anyone, only to inspire.  But I know on facebook, that's a fine line. 

I love to cook, the way other people love to do other things that I don't find as enjoyable.  But there are nights when dinner is a disaster, when I don't know what to do, and I'm so fed up that I just don't want to eat at all (in stubborn protest, NOT for lack of hunger).  For reasons I won't get into, tonight, Randy and I went back and forth so much about dinner that it was ridiculous.  We even drove around the block just to come back home.  He made Abby eggs and some for himself, but he didn't eat his.  I started an order from Chili's online, but then didn't actually place it.  We drove to the Chili's restaurant, I went in, checked for a wait (there wasn't one) and we left anyway.  In the end, Abby had her eggs and a junior frosty from Wendy's and a couple of fries.  Randy and I were both so hungry by the time we pulled through the Wendy's drive-thru that the first picture we saw we said in unison "I'll have that."  Then laughed hysterically at each other in love, joy, and frustration.  Sometimes that's the best way to get the tension out. 

So I'm posting this tonight to tell all the mothers (and fathers), please don't feel pressured.  Don't be ashamed about the burnt toast you throw at the table in frustration for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  Don't worry about the occasional fast-food, open cereal box, or ice cream you put down in front of your child.  My pictures won't be cropped or edited tonight because my dining room table looked a mess.  And I wanted you to see it that way.  It's okay.  There's no pressure.  We're all in this together.